am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
