Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
