...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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