I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
