she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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