youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
