Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
