How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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