bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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