wat bout pragnant strippers??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
