bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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