get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
