Apparently you make a good broom.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
