How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
