ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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