I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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