I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
