Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize