I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
