I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
