I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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