grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
