Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize