She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is my gift to your gina
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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