I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
