Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
