I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
