I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize