I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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