I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
