I cannot find my penis.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize