every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
