K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
