I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
