she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize