hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
