It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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