i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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