i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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