so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
