Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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