So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My dick has a subreddit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
