she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
