Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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