thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
