My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize