My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
