you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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