it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
