just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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