Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
