I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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