After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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