shes about as inviting as chlamydia
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
