I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
