i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
