I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
