I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
