I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
