well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
