We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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