I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Your penis caused this!
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