did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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