5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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